~Lady-Merani

"Who am I?" A friend of mines asked me today... I think they should change it to "What am I?". Then I just stumbled finding the words out. It hit me, I have no idea. There's no label, no category, no nothing. Sure, you could use phuysical terms, but those only go so far. Maybe, I'm nothing. Like I've ried to be so many things to so many people, there's nothing lefyt. You could tell about a person's true self from their childhood and that scares me the most. When I was younger, I was so happy and carefree and could easily make friends while staying myself. Now, I just act according to what they want me to act like and they never no the difference. It's like they can't see my first reactions to what they do. Whatever, I can't help that. I guess it doesn't hurt to let people think you are something you're not if that not helps them. But then, some of the things that are saud and done hurts and they just go on like it doesn't matter, like my feelings are stone and they cold say whatever they want to me... Damn I got off on a tangent there.

For the friend who asked who I am, this is my answer... I am an actress, the real meaning of the word and not the retarded, over used, publicly obliterated term of it. I act in life, not in a show. Most of the time, everything I do is fake. You all should really trust the feelings I give off, cause they aren't real. A few... very, very few know ME (like only 1). Those who do are the ones I don't have to wooried to be judged about, who accept me and will let me speak my muind with out changing it. It's the ones who let me be me... And for those friends who want to see me... It takes awhile and a lot of proof of worth to get there.

(P.S. If someone wants to ask me about this, just do it straightforward. I'm not an idiot, I've watched enough people to know when they're hinting at something they want to speak with me about. Don't worry about being judged, Im in no position to do that, unless you say something you know is completely wrong to say. It would stay between)